Saturday, October 29, 2011

Paramedichron #9

Making Me Crazy, This iPad

Sung to the tune of Killing Me Softly With His Song, by Roberta Flack
Reacquaint yo'seff with Roberta's sound here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtW29oTp5cE&feature=related


Jabbing the screen with my finger,
Keeping my life deep inside,
Making me crazy, this iPad,
Making me crazy...
This iPad
Holding my whole life a hostage
Making me crazy...
This iPad


I saw the advertisements;
I know the Apple Store.
But when it was handed to me
I expected more.
And there it was, this new toy:
The answer to our prayers


Stabbing the screen with my finger
Hoping my life's still inside
Making me crazy, this iPad
Making me crazy...
This iPad
Holding my whole life at gun point
Making me crazy...
This iPad


I felt a rush of panic,
was scared - a little bit.
I felt set up to fail
with Apple's piece of shit.
I prayed the Lord to take me
or smite this damned tablet!


Poking the screen with my finger
I stored my life deep inside
Making me crazy, this iPad
Making me crazy...
This iPad
I've got my whole life on that thing
Driving me crazy...
This iPad!


I think that if you knew me
You'd see it isn't fair.
The absent keyboard threw me,
and there's no harddrive there!
And all my tests are on it -
And all my fucking books...


Hitting the screen with my forehead
I'm doomed - my life's locked inside
Making me crazy, this iPad
Making me crazy...
This iPad
I placed my trust in that damned thing
Driving me crazy...
This iPad!


Oh, oh oh , la la la etc etc etc.


Tapping the screen with my finger
What's going on deep inside?
Making me crazy, the iPad
Making me crazy...
This iPad
We should have all got an Android
Driving me crazy...
This iPad!


I was touching the screen
Yeah, it was smashing my life
Making me crazy - this iPad
I'm going crazy...
This iPad!
Holding my whole life at gun point
Driving me crazy
This iPad!

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